Everybody has problems. Even the richest guy in the world has problems. That’s because we, as human beings, are insatiable and has unlimited wants. It’s just a matter ofwhat you do about those problems that sets you apart form other people. Even when I was little, I was taught that quitters always lose, and winners always persevere. Once you succumb to the weight of your problem and start feeling sorry for yourself, you lose. As a quote from The Kite Runner says, “…quitting is right up there with pissing in the Girl Scouts’ lemonade jar.”
Aside from solving the main problem itself, the most basic way we deal with problems is by the use of our coping mechanisms. These coping mechanisms are uses to overcome adversity, disadvantage or disability, without eliminating the cause of the problem. This occurs naturally and may help or harm us, depending on our reaction to a specific problem.
Looking at the past, I realized that I use rationalization more freqently than any coping mechanism there is. Ever since I tried my hand at understanding Buddhism (because I’m bored), I have always related my problems to the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism, especially the first noble truth: that life is characterized by suffering, pain and dissatisfaction. Which practically says that life will undoubtedly suck and we must deal with its innate suckyness.
The other noble truths (in a nutshell) say that the suffering in life is caused by our craving for pleasure and we can rid ourselves of suffering by learning the eight fold path which consists of equal parts of common sense and philosophical mumbo jumbo. Basically, by accepting that some parts of life inherently sucks, you can pretty much tolerate whatever it throws at you.
Another coping mechanism I developed recently is when we had a seriously ill patient in the hospital. This patient, in layman’s terms, has had her ass eaten away by bacteria. She basically pooped and peed in a same general area and she was so disgusted with her general state that she felt realy sorry for herself. My heart sinks whenever I hear people fell or say those things. So whenever I have problems, I always think of that patient. And thank the heavens that my problems aren’t that significant to start feeling sorry for myself.
Sometimes, we’re just too caught up with what we have and we don’t, that we tend to rush into things and forget about patience and faith. Like what Jessica wrote on her blog, “Older and wiser people than I have told me that success is, on the whole, a precarious balance of action and inaction, hard work and patience…and just a touch of luck and faith.”
Maybe, we just have to really go forward with our plan, and not let the setbacks of life deter us from what we really want. And in th mean time, we have these coping mechanisms to deal with life’s frustrations and disappoitments.